Walter and Ollie are gone for the weekend. It's kind of a beautiful thing, for them as well as for us. I dealt with the loss by taking Frances to Build-A-Bear, since she was upset at not just staying here with me, but having to go to a dr's appointment on top of that. Turns out that we didn't really need to go in the first place and the doctor could just fill out the physical form for gymnastics and update some info with a current height and weight (42.5 inches, 37 pounds). It's worth noting here that after the flurry of emails about the "creepy guy" who seemed to be using a fluffy dog to lure children away from the pop-jet fountain there, there was mega-high and very obvious security in the fountain area, so much so that it would be a brave little soul who would feel confident playing with an enormous uniformed and armed man standing so menacingly three feet away. I even found myself ruminating on what I might be doing at the moment that would warrant being carried off in shackles by this man. At any rate, it was too cold for anyone with a shred of sanity to be dancing around in what is always freezing cold water anyway. We picked up a Cub Scout styled bear shirt for the ubiquitous Husky and called it a wrap (okay, I just called it a warp before I corrected my spelling, but that's just me..).
I'm thinking seriously again about how I'm going to start writing seriously for money. Maybe I don't need to write seriously, but I do need to write for money. I also started looking into what I'd need to do to apply as an adjunct faculty member at one of the community colleges. Most daunting is getting 3 letters of recommendation; it's been 10 long years since I've taught at all, and I'm a long way from that era of my life and the people who were in it then. Having never finished my degree and kind of gone AWOL numerous times, I'm not in what I view as the best position to be grovelling, but this may be a moment to swallow my pride. I've talked a lot in my blog in the past about whether it is possible to be too poor to homeschool, but it's very clear as I'm planning next year that yes, it is possible, depending on your particular chosen route. And even more so if you are the parent of a miniscule Mary Lou Retton, whose kindergarten gymnastics career actually makes loud slurping noises as it sucks away your paycheck.
Am I nervous about adding in more to my is-my-head-above-water? life? You betcha. It would be the supreme irony if I started working part time to support my homescholing lifestyle and found that it made me so frazzled that I had to put my children in school so I could continue to work. But a little something has to be done. To that end, I have been reading the _Writer Mama_ book I picked up a few weeks ago at B&N, and it makes me both feel like I can do this (or at least an arrogant, hey, if these other people can do it, I can), but it is also scaring the pants off me. I just don't want to write for a newspaper. I don't want to be running around interviewing people on assignments all the time; I hate that kind of stuff. I'm a loner, a recluse, a misanthrope with awful social skills. That's why I want to sit home with my computer by myself and write and never have to actually make actual contact with a human being. I'm thinking about a lot of ideas I have for articles, some of which I'll include here totally unedited.
My old standard is that I haven't ever read anything about breastfeeding after infertility, specifically the angle of mothers who want to maintain their attachment parenting lifestyle and pursue further treatment for a next child. Others are the gritty reality of homeschooling with toddlers in the house, homeschooling twins, ping-pong homeschoolers (unschooling this week, collapsing under the weight of books from the used curriculum sale the next). If it wasn't so late, I'd probably be pulling up a bunch of my others from my list, but my eyes are glazing over yet again. I'm having a problem with this lately.
I need to set firm goals for myself--no more procrastinating. Something along the lines of I need an article written with a real plan for it by the end of this month, which I guess means about two weeks. I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I have two fewer children this weekend to spend some time in the bookstores perusing the magazine racks and narrowing down a loftier goal while also making some plans for a local publication.
At home, I'm pushing for a more clear delineation of budget items. I am drawing up a proposal that I believe will offer the kind of flexibility and generosity we need for activities next year while maintaining accountability with other budgetary areas. Translated, this means that I need a way to put my money where my mouth is and prove that I've tasted those filthy little dollar bills when I say that such-and-such means so much to me that I'm willing to stop eating to have it. Kerry is still pulling his sorry old, "Rules are made to be broken" as a reason why we shouldn't have some envelope system or vague mental plan for how to divide our resources. Frustrating.
Speaking of frustrating, the new cell phone that we won on eBay came yesterday, and it refuses to work. So it has to go back. Meanwhile, my lame, limping phone also refuses to be reactivated. What I'm left with is no working phone, and it is driving me positively crazy. I had not realized how much I depend on the thing to multitask while I'm waiting for children somewhere or driving in the car, and today I ended up spending the majority of my day at home, tethered to the phone, trying to sort out a variety of things going on in the many arenas of my life. I felt like there were fewer hours in the day. What's worth sayng, though, is that obviously four years ago, I was living a perfectly fulfilling life without one of these little devices, and now it is a crisis that I have to go 72 hours without it (actually, we're talking more like 2 weeks, but still...).
Tomorrow hopefully I will have pictures to post of a way improved new haircut.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Backyard Wildlife Habitat
Go ahead and give us a sign for our yard. Wait, you might as well just give us a sign for indoors, too. Today was the day of the wild animals. It started this morning with something bounding across the kitchen. My first thought: "Oh no! The cat finally got the hamster!" But no. It was no hamster. It was a chipmunk, and it was heading upstairs. Eventually he got painted into a corner in the laundry room and found himself a hiding place and, hopefully, eventually a way out of our house. I don't really want to see him inside again. This was not typical for us--in fact, I've never had a live, furry wild animal in my house before.
Imagine my surprise when I was out just a hour or two later picking up the messy stuff that was in our backyard and I lifted the plastic climbing wall that had fallen on the ground and I found a leafy nest with a juvenile opossum in it! Ack! The kids were so very excited. So were the dogs. The poor opossum wasn't. He or she is probably 8-10 inches long, so most likely is a young juvenile living on his own, rather than an orphaned baby (who would be in a pouch with his mother unless she had died or he had been somehow separated from her). This was a healthy-looking, self-sufficient fellow. But he does need a new home. Walter wanted to build it a large cage with pieces of an old dog crate and a papasan chair frame. We had to have the discussion yet again that wild animals are not and will not be pets. It isn't legal to make them pets, it isn't safe to make them pets, and it isn't fair to them to make them pets. And this opossum is best suited to where he is, and he's likely to move along in a day or two at any rate.
We did some reading about opossums to refresh our knowledge. Back last year at Roots and Shoots the Area Rehabbers Klub, ARK, came and did a presentation for our group, complete with miniature baby opossums who had been orphaned. I remembered quite a bit about them from this, so unless something changes, I think our best course of action is to encourage this little guy to move along and make a nest somewhere else where he will be safe from US. The hardest part about knowing he is there now is that, well, we know he is there, and it is more temptation than Walter can handle not to be checking in on it. I'm hoping that nightfall and the memory of the big human dangers today will encourage the baby to find a new place to nap in the daytime. Meanwhile, we need to make the yard a little less hospitable for our own safety.
We had nothing on our schedule today, so we stayed at home for all but about 20 minutes, when we went out for ice cream and an iced latte and to put Rut to bed. Walter's best friend in the neighborhood, Jared, is going away this weekend and will be gone for the entire summer, and it is not clear whether he will be returning when summer is over. Walter doesn't know this yet, and I already ache for the pain I know he will feel when the reality of this hits him. Walter can have a hard time relating to other kids, and Jared was an extraordinary find for him; they are inseparable. Right now he is with Jared from about 3:30 every day until we finally force him to come in at 8:00. And things are so easy when Jared is around because the two of them go off and build things with Legos or make forts in the woods. It will be hard to fill Jared's shoes, even if only for the short term.
Today Times Tales came in the mail. I opened it and read the instruction book right away, and the boys and I read the book (7 times!) and then went through the various steps to memorize and be able to retell the goofy stories about Mrs. Snowman, Mrs. Week, the First Grade Class, and the Treehouse. But darnit, Ollie knows those upper multiplication facts now. I think what "works" about the program isn't the mnemonic devices to help them recall the products, but the motivation to prove they can answer these questions so that they never have to hear about how many Christmas lights the First Grade Class put on the Treehouse ever again! Walter, not surprisingly, has trouble remembering the stories themselves and gets the numbers in them all mixed u. I anticipate much more need for reinforcement with him. It's sort of an ingenious program, though. I wonder if we keep doing this if when they are my age they will still have a part of their mind that has that glimmer of nostalgia whenever they encounter 8x7-56 and there's a fleeting memory of Mrs. Snowman and Mrs. Week getting a speeding ticket.
I am still proceeding with a fairly full school agenda for much of the summer. We're adapting as well as we can to Saxon math, which is stressing us all out because the boys can't seem to figure out what it is looking for. Walter, especially,will blurt out the answer (a correct one), but often that's not even the major point for Saxon. It wants them to show their work, and Walter has done the problem some way other than what they have in mind. But I'll stick with it in the name of better standardized test scores. We'll do better this coming year, I'm sure.
I am just exhausted. Poor sleeping for the past two nights, lots of interruptions, lots of coughing children. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?!
Imagine my surprise when I was out just a hour or two later picking up the messy stuff that was in our backyard and I lifted the plastic climbing wall that had fallen on the ground and I found a leafy nest with a juvenile opossum in it! Ack! The kids were so very excited. So were the dogs. The poor opossum wasn't. He or she is probably 8-10 inches long, so most likely is a young juvenile living on his own, rather than an orphaned baby (who would be in a pouch with his mother unless she had died or he had been somehow separated from her). This was a healthy-looking, self-sufficient fellow. But he does need a new home. Walter wanted to build it a large cage with pieces of an old dog crate and a papasan chair frame. We had to have the discussion yet again that wild animals are not and will not be pets. It isn't legal to make them pets, it isn't safe to make them pets, and it isn't fair to them to make them pets. And this opossum is best suited to where he is, and he's likely to move along in a day or two at any rate.
We did some reading about opossums to refresh our knowledge. Back last year at Roots and Shoots the Area Rehabbers Klub, ARK, came and did a presentation for our group, complete with miniature baby opossums who had been orphaned. I remembered quite a bit about them from this, so unless something changes, I think our best course of action is to encourage this little guy to move along and make a nest somewhere else where he will be safe from US. The hardest part about knowing he is there now is that, well, we know he is there, and it is more temptation than Walter can handle not to be checking in on it. I'm hoping that nightfall and the memory of the big human dangers today will encourage the baby to find a new place to nap in the daytime. Meanwhile, we need to make the yard a little less hospitable for our own safety.
We had nothing on our schedule today, so we stayed at home for all but about 20 minutes, when we went out for ice cream and an iced latte and to put Rut to bed. Walter's best friend in the neighborhood, Jared, is going away this weekend and will be gone for the entire summer, and it is not clear whether he will be returning when summer is over. Walter doesn't know this yet, and I already ache for the pain I know he will feel when the reality of this hits him. Walter can have a hard time relating to other kids, and Jared was an extraordinary find for him; they are inseparable. Right now he is with Jared from about 3:30 every day until we finally force him to come in at 8:00. And things are so easy when Jared is around because the two of them go off and build things with Legos or make forts in the woods. It will be hard to fill Jared's shoes, even if only for the short term.
Today Times Tales came in the mail. I opened it and read the instruction book right away, and the boys and I read the book (7 times!) and then went through the various steps to memorize and be able to retell the goofy stories about Mrs. Snowman, Mrs. Week, the First Grade Class, and the Treehouse. But darnit, Ollie knows those upper multiplication facts now. I think what "works" about the program isn't the mnemonic devices to help them recall the products, but the motivation to prove they can answer these questions so that they never have to hear about how many Christmas lights the First Grade Class put on the Treehouse ever again! Walter, not surprisingly, has trouble remembering the stories themselves and gets the numbers in them all mixed u. I anticipate much more need for reinforcement with him. It's sort of an ingenious program, though. I wonder if we keep doing this if when they are my age they will still have a part of their mind that has that glimmer of nostalgia whenever they encounter 8x7-56 and there's a fleeting memory of Mrs. Snowman and Mrs. Week getting a speeding ticket.
I am still proceeding with a fairly full school agenda for much of the summer. We're adapting as well as we can to Saxon math, which is stressing us all out because the boys can't seem to figure out what it is looking for. Walter, especially,will blurt out the answer (a correct one), but often that's not even the major point for Saxon. It wants them to show their work, and Walter has done the problem some way other than what they have in mind. But I'll stick with it in the name of better standardized test scores. We'll do better this coming year, I'm sure.
I am just exhausted. Poor sleeping for the past two nights, lots of interruptions, lots of coughing children. I wonder what tomorrow will bring?!
Monday, June 11, 2007
Late Night With...
I don't know how I always manage to stay up late, even when I've had essentially NO sleep the night before. This no sleep thing--gotta go. It's just gotta go. Last night it was the coughing again, and then some protracted tangle with my alarm clock getting set on snooze repeatedly. Ugly. And once the sun is up, Rutledge is ready to start getting up, so sleep is very broken after 6:00. I don't quite know how I got through the whole day.
Today's big news: Ollie is reading a full-length book to himself silently willingly for the first time. He read 90 pages of what Walter describes as "an inappropriate book," while he was with Rebecca this morning, and he was still reading in the car on the way home. It's hard to fully express how big this is for him, because reading novels is not something he has been interested in doing in the past. He'll do Captain Underpants, but this is longer and doesn't have the generous illustrations. I hope this is the first of many happy hours reading for him.
We have this dog problem. Okay, it's a child problem. They're letting out the dogs because they are going in and out the doors so often. I was saying that maybe we need to think about a barrier of some kind. And Kerry replied that we do have a barrier--it's called a door, and it's being left open. Yeah. That's it. My decision on a logical consequence is that they will lose time playing with their friends if they leave open the door and a dog gets out. Everyone is old enough to remember to take the time to fasten gates, shut doors, and watch for escaping things.
We were in the right place at the right time tonight, and one of the Order of the Phoenix tape sets came in while we were at the library tonight. This is such good news because my voice can't seem to handle reading more than 40 or so pages at a sitting, and at the rate we're going, I'll be old and gray before we finish the book with me at the helm. So the tapes will take some burden off of me and allow us to combine actual flesh and blood here and now human interaction reading and the tape and finally make some tracks with this thing.
Other notable finds: complete Land of the Lost seasons.
I'm realizing as I'm typing that my brain is getting increasingly fuzzy. Things are coming out of my fingers that I didn't intend to have happen, and I'm powerless to stop them. I keep having to erase things that make no sense. This is probably my big sign that I should have been in bed an hour ago.
Today's big news: Ollie is reading a full-length book to himself silently willingly for the first time. He read 90 pages of what Walter describes as "an inappropriate book," while he was with Rebecca this morning, and he was still reading in the car on the way home. It's hard to fully express how big this is for him, because reading novels is not something he has been interested in doing in the past. He'll do Captain Underpants, but this is longer and doesn't have the generous illustrations. I hope this is the first of many happy hours reading for him.
We have this dog problem. Okay, it's a child problem. They're letting out the dogs because they are going in and out the doors so often. I was saying that maybe we need to think about a barrier of some kind. And Kerry replied that we do have a barrier--it's called a door, and it's being left open. Yeah. That's it. My decision on a logical consequence is that they will lose time playing with their friends if they leave open the door and a dog gets out. Everyone is old enough to remember to take the time to fasten gates, shut doors, and watch for escaping things.
We were in the right place at the right time tonight, and one of the Order of the Phoenix tape sets came in while we were at the library tonight. This is such good news because my voice can't seem to handle reading more than 40 or so pages at a sitting, and at the rate we're going, I'll be old and gray before we finish the book with me at the helm. So the tapes will take some burden off of me and allow us to combine actual flesh and blood here and now human interaction reading and the tape and finally make some tracks with this thing.
Other notable finds: complete Land of the Lost seasons.
I'm realizing as I'm typing that my brain is getting increasingly fuzzy. Things are coming out of my fingers that I didn't intend to have happen, and I'm powerless to stop them. I keep having to erase things that make no sense. This is probably my big sign that I should have been in bed an hour ago.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Week End
Thank goodness last week is over and this is a new one! Tomorrow morning I play tennis early at a club that has a reputation for being very rule-bound, but any day that includes tennis is a good one. Some very screwed up version of child dispersement seems to be in the works. I'm just going to sit back and let it happen, rather than trying to talk sense into Rebecca and Hilary.
I seem to have managed to alienate myself completely from my homeschool group and piss the hell right out of everyone. All just more evidence, not that I need any more, that you can't lose friends you never had in the first place. No one is speaking to me. They're speaking to everyone else...and that was kind of the problem to begin with. I have the impression that the root of the problem is that whether anyone wants to be with me or my children or not in the first place, my presence in the co-op is vital because there just has to be a co-op so that the Consolidation of Activity needs of people who live outside of town will be met. I hate to sound callous, but I can't make this my problem. I can't do something that isn't going to bring us pleasure and where I feel uncomfortable just because it makes life more convenient for other people. This was not a situation where my children or me were going to be successful, and the stress it would cause me on so many levels just was not worthwhile. I have to go with my convictions and with what I feel is right, both Right right and right for my famly as it is right now (how's that for a lot of rights?).
I actually feel this tremendous sense of relief. And finally a lot of optimism about next year. I hadn't realized what a weight this co-op was on me and how it was dragging down my whole enthusiasm for homeschooling until the real issues for me bubbled up to the surface the other night. The nagging discomfort that we were excluding some people I knew would be interested and that they would find out about the co-op and I would be implicated in the exclusion. The undercurrent of knowing but not articulating that there are people in the co-op who just don't particularly like my family. We're not talking 20 families and having a conflict with 1 or 2, we're talking about 6 families and having trouble with 20-40%. The uneasiness in having heard or interpreted that my children aren't really challenging enough academically. There were just a lot of uncomfortable things. When you start out at the planning stages with discomfort, it's hard to see how things could possibly be going swimmingly when November rolls around and we're still locked into the thing. I'm homeschooling so we can do things that work for us, and while I can handle a commitment to something as well as anyone else most of the time once I'm in, it just makes no sense at all to initiate something that you know already isn't right. What really pissed everyone off was not just me saying that, to put it most bluntly, I felt like people were being mean, but that when I left, Hilary left and now maybe another family is going to leave. Hilary was going to leave anyway, so my leaving wasn't the final straw, and if I hadn't sent an email first, she would have beat me to it. I'm still kind of in confusion as to how anyone can be upset that I "wrecked their co-op by pulling out" when some of them didn't particularly want to work with me and my children in the first place!
So now I'm on to being part of the advisory committee on this new homeschool enrichment center that is opening. I want to have positive energy to put into that. I'm nearly giddy with the idea that I have an opportunity now to really think about what I'd like to do with other families should other families be interested in doing things with me. I tend to not be that much of a rock the boat kind of person. I err on the side of sticking around just a little too long most of the time, long past the point when I should have bailed for my own sanity and self-preservation. My typical M.O. is to just kind of fade off into the background when I have a problem, and eventually I evaporate and move on to something else. I don't tend to make these clean (or unclean) cuts. But what better time than when this new Homeschool Place is right on the horizon to have released myself into becoming a free agent? And the sense that my weeks belong to me now is very thrilling.
I'm working on getting us into a different co-op that isn't really a co-op. It's more of a schoolish offering, but still sounds fun. Although tonight i noticed that they are using a writing program that I think has a great deal wrong with it in its basic philosophy, so this has made me waver just a little bit. I don't remember hearing much about them doing writing, so I'm not sure what this exactly means in terms of this year. I'd have a lot to 'unteach' if they were taught by this method, because I have strong feelings about teaching forms and teaching style, particularly to younger students who don't have enough filters and critical thinking skills to swerve away from this on their own. Right now there is no room in this group, though, so it's not exactly a sure thing at the moment. If I had this Classical Conversations thing on Tuesday, though, and was able to get together for another group learning time on Thursdays with some friends, then my week would feel pretty complete. Mondays I'd probably teach a class or two at the Homeschool Center, and Wednesdays and Fridays would be free. I'm still on the fence about trumpet for Walter (far away, bisects day, takes a time that used to be park day, but more on that in a minute). I'd really rather keep teaching the kids piano, and eventually move toward finding a Woodlake piano teacher for them later in the year. Frances would have her gymnastics on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, whoever chose to would have wrestling in the winter, and we'd have open space in our schedule for playdates and impromptu things. It sounds pretty good. And it really makes me take back nearly every thought I've had about putting them in school. Finally, I can look forward to the fall!
So that's where I am now. Spoke bluntly and made people dislike me. Probably am leaving the homeschool group I've been with for at least 2 years, and 3 if you want to get technical. And yet I feel a massive surge of potential and confidence. I feel better about my children, energized about what we will do at home over the summer and next year, and I'm back experiencing the freedom that made me choose to homeschool in the first place!
I seem to have managed to alienate myself completely from my homeschool group and piss the hell right out of everyone. All just more evidence, not that I need any more, that you can't lose friends you never had in the first place. No one is speaking to me. They're speaking to everyone else...and that was kind of the problem to begin with. I have the impression that the root of the problem is that whether anyone wants to be with me or my children or not in the first place, my presence in the co-op is vital because there just has to be a co-op so that the Consolidation of Activity needs of people who live outside of town will be met. I hate to sound callous, but I can't make this my problem. I can't do something that isn't going to bring us pleasure and where I feel uncomfortable just because it makes life more convenient for other people. This was not a situation where my children or me were going to be successful, and the stress it would cause me on so many levels just was not worthwhile. I have to go with my convictions and with what I feel is right, both Right right and right for my famly as it is right now (how's that for a lot of rights?).
I actually feel this tremendous sense of relief. And finally a lot of optimism about next year. I hadn't realized what a weight this co-op was on me and how it was dragging down my whole enthusiasm for homeschooling until the real issues for me bubbled up to the surface the other night. The nagging discomfort that we were excluding some people I knew would be interested and that they would find out about the co-op and I would be implicated in the exclusion. The undercurrent of knowing but not articulating that there are people in the co-op who just don't particularly like my family. We're not talking 20 families and having a conflict with 1 or 2, we're talking about 6 families and having trouble with 20-40%. The uneasiness in having heard or interpreted that my children aren't really challenging enough academically. There were just a lot of uncomfortable things. When you start out at the planning stages with discomfort, it's hard to see how things could possibly be going swimmingly when November rolls around and we're still locked into the thing. I'm homeschooling so we can do things that work for us, and while I can handle a commitment to something as well as anyone else most of the time once I'm in, it just makes no sense at all to initiate something that you know already isn't right. What really pissed everyone off was not just me saying that, to put it most bluntly, I felt like people were being mean, but that when I left, Hilary left and now maybe another family is going to leave. Hilary was going to leave anyway, so my leaving wasn't the final straw, and if I hadn't sent an email first, she would have beat me to it. I'm still kind of in confusion as to how anyone can be upset that I "wrecked their co-op by pulling out" when some of them didn't particularly want to work with me and my children in the first place!
So now I'm on to being part of the advisory committee on this new homeschool enrichment center that is opening. I want to have positive energy to put into that. I'm nearly giddy with the idea that I have an opportunity now to really think about what I'd like to do with other families should other families be interested in doing things with me. I tend to not be that much of a rock the boat kind of person. I err on the side of sticking around just a little too long most of the time, long past the point when I should have bailed for my own sanity and self-preservation. My typical M.O. is to just kind of fade off into the background when I have a problem, and eventually I evaporate and move on to something else. I don't tend to make these clean (or unclean) cuts. But what better time than when this new Homeschool Place is right on the horizon to have released myself into becoming a free agent? And the sense that my weeks belong to me now is very thrilling.
I'm working on getting us into a different co-op that isn't really a co-op. It's more of a schoolish offering, but still sounds fun. Although tonight i noticed that they are using a writing program that I think has a great deal wrong with it in its basic philosophy, so this has made me waver just a little bit. I don't remember hearing much about them doing writing, so I'm not sure what this exactly means in terms of this year. I'd have a lot to 'unteach' if they were taught by this method, because I have strong feelings about teaching forms and teaching style, particularly to younger students who don't have enough filters and critical thinking skills to swerve away from this on their own. Right now there is no room in this group, though, so it's not exactly a sure thing at the moment. If I had this Classical Conversations thing on Tuesday, though, and was able to get together for another group learning time on Thursdays with some friends, then my week would feel pretty complete. Mondays I'd probably teach a class or two at the Homeschool Center, and Wednesdays and Fridays would be free. I'm still on the fence about trumpet for Walter (far away, bisects day, takes a time that used to be park day, but more on that in a minute). I'd really rather keep teaching the kids piano, and eventually move toward finding a Woodlake piano teacher for them later in the year. Frances would have her gymnastics on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, whoever chose to would have wrestling in the winter, and we'd have open space in our schedule for playdates and impromptu things. It sounds pretty good. And it really makes me take back nearly every thought I've had about putting them in school. Finally, I can look forward to the fall!
So that's where I am now. Spoke bluntly and made people dislike me. Probably am leaving the homeschool group I've been with for at least 2 years, and 3 if you want to get technical. And yet I feel a massive surge of potential and confidence. I feel better about my children, energized about what we will do at home over the summer and next year, and I'm back experiencing the freedom that made me choose to homeschool in the first place!
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Flew the Coop?
I've been posting quite a bit about co-op lately because we both have this meeting looming and because it has been such an uneasy thought to me in many ways. Tonight I decided that this really isn't going to work for us with the direction it is going. The meeting was also another installment in my master lesson of the year about how you have to look out for yourself, because no one else is. I typically have trouble cutting my losses when the writing is on the wall, and as I was talking to Kerry and describing the big mess that was the planning of this meeting, I realized that I don't need to stick around when things are overly sticky; I can just remove myself from the entire situation. This was a hard lesson back in LLL before we moved--meeting after meeting, elephant in the room after elephant in the room, obfuscated references after obfuscated references, constantly wondering, "Is it me?" Kerry, who listened to me go on for hours, usually in the middle of the night, about my conjectures on this or that, would look at me and frankly ask, "If it's so much grief for you, why don't you just drop out? Why volunteer to do something that is nothing but trouble." And I'd answer with all of these "Well..." responses. Mostly I fear that if I pull out of something, I'll lose contact with everyone I know and be cast adrift in the vast sea of loneliness out there. But you know what, sometimes that's better than having a false sense that you even know what's going on.
So I have a lot of reasons for pulling out of the co-op that is being planned. The general feeling of tension in discussing the who, what, where, when, why, and how of it. Most importantly, I'm over the mucked up communication and feeling like too much is happening behind the scenes, and that I'm out of the loop and that there is much exclusivity. And maybe more than that, the negative emotions it evokes for me about my own children--the sense that they aren't good enough behaviorally, intellectually, and academically--well, these are not healthy. When it really comes down, I homeschool so that I can make them have a positive experience living and learning, so that they can play to their strengths and not be constantly indicted for their weaknesses, and so that they feel confident that they are competent, interesting people. Why intentionally place yourself in settings where you and they come away feeling that they are not good enough, that others are talking about them and you behind your back (and to your face...), and where you know that you all piss off and irritate people? Duh. If you have a choice, especially seeming infinite choice, why not unplug and try to find a place where you do fit in...or at least the next landing spot until you wear out your welcome there?
That said, I'll admit that I am tossing around the idea of school, even though I've always seen myself as a committed homeschooler. There are a couple of facts I can't dispute: They were very successful in preschool. They were beloved by their teachers, they were popular among their peers, and until the last few weeks each year, they loved to go. No matter how problematic they seemed at home, whether in behavior or other skills, I always had reassurance from the preschool teachers and director that they were exceptional, personable, bright, and well-liked. Whenever they are in a setting where they are with current elementary school teachers, they have unanimously been loved and encouraged. I've even...hold your breath here, numerous times had Frances, the one I had given up as forever blonde, called "really smart" by people who actually have spent time with large groups of five year olds. I wonder sometimes if I am denying my children an opportunity to be where they can really be appreciated for who they are and have opportunities to shine. Particularly with Frances, I wonder if she wasn't seen and treated as "behind" or "not smart" if she would totally rise to the occasion. For this year I have had her in kindergarten classes in places like Sunday School and wherever else I have needed to declare a grade. She has worked hard in a mixed-age art class. She has thrived beyond my expectations. I haven't "done school" with her this year, but now we're starting on a first grade math book and she is so excited for herself. She is a hard worker, a bit of a perfectionist. But she has a lot of energy. And she doesn't read yet and doesn't care. An she definitely does not come across as nerdy; quite the opposite, she comes across as brainless and hyperactive. But this year I want to see as her year, the time when she is most definitely not the hanger-on, the sibling that came with, but someone who can hold her own. Homeschooling doesn't always give her that opportunity because she doesn't *look* like someone you'd want in your class with your "smart" kids, but I have this inkling that if I found myself a brand new venue and placed her in a same-age peer class that she might just surprise me and other people. And the thing about school is, they'll do that for her because they have to.
Walter and Ollie...whoa, are they the same old story or what?! Bad to the bone, energy without bounds, mouths that know no tact or decency. But what if they were in an environment where there has been and will be worse than they are? What if they weren't the resident trouble makers? What if they didn't have to spend all day with me! What if they, too, turned out to be more competent than they appear? Oh, how the world loves the child who is studious, quiet, and self-controlled. What if this is how they turned out to be if they were in a setting that valued this and motivated them? Would I be in a close personal relationship with the principal? Or would I find that they were actually children teachers wanted to have in their class?
Right now I think I'm just nervous that I may be losing what I had considered my support network, but it was so clear as I was talking to Kerry tonight that it's not really supporting you if, well, to put it really bluntly, you and your children are disliked. When things like this happen, I tend to jump to the conclusion that if we can't fit one place, we can't fit anywhere (and believe me, we've burned plenty of bridges in our time...who could have prepared me for how being a parent would put me in positions I never dreamed I'd be in!). But I'm doing my best to see this like dating: keep at it, there's probably someone for everyone out there. Dumped once doesn't mean forever alone. I will fill my head with positive thoughts that we can find a niche before resorting to dropping this amazing freedom we have altogether.
So I have a lot of reasons for pulling out of the co-op that is being planned. The general feeling of tension in discussing the who, what, where, when, why, and how of it. Most importantly, I'm over the mucked up communication and feeling like too much is happening behind the scenes, and that I'm out of the loop and that there is much exclusivity. And maybe more than that, the negative emotions it evokes for me about my own children--the sense that they aren't good enough behaviorally, intellectually, and academically--well, these are not healthy. When it really comes down, I homeschool so that I can make them have a positive experience living and learning, so that they can play to their strengths and not be constantly indicted for their weaknesses, and so that they feel confident that they are competent, interesting people. Why intentionally place yourself in settings where you and they come away feeling that they are not good enough, that others are talking about them and you behind your back (and to your face...), and where you know that you all piss off and irritate people? Duh. If you have a choice, especially seeming infinite choice, why not unplug and try to find a place where you do fit in...or at least the next landing spot until you wear out your welcome there?
That said, I'll admit that I am tossing around the idea of school, even though I've always seen myself as a committed homeschooler. There are a couple of facts I can't dispute: They were very successful in preschool. They were beloved by their teachers, they were popular among their peers, and until the last few weeks each year, they loved to go. No matter how problematic they seemed at home, whether in behavior or other skills, I always had reassurance from the preschool teachers and director that they were exceptional, personable, bright, and well-liked. Whenever they are in a setting where they are with current elementary school teachers, they have unanimously been loved and encouraged. I've even...hold your breath here, numerous times had Frances, the one I had given up as forever blonde, called "really smart" by people who actually have spent time with large groups of five year olds. I wonder sometimes if I am denying my children an opportunity to be where they can really be appreciated for who they are and have opportunities to shine. Particularly with Frances, I wonder if she wasn't seen and treated as "behind" or "not smart" if she would totally rise to the occasion. For this year I have had her in kindergarten classes in places like Sunday School and wherever else I have needed to declare a grade. She has worked hard in a mixed-age art class. She has thrived beyond my expectations. I haven't "done school" with her this year, but now we're starting on a first grade math book and she is so excited for herself. She is a hard worker, a bit of a perfectionist. But she has a lot of energy. And she doesn't read yet and doesn't care. An she definitely does not come across as nerdy; quite the opposite, she comes across as brainless and hyperactive. But this year I want to see as her year, the time when she is most definitely not the hanger-on, the sibling that came with, but someone who can hold her own. Homeschooling doesn't always give her that opportunity because she doesn't *look* like someone you'd want in your class with your "smart" kids, but I have this inkling that if I found myself a brand new venue and placed her in a same-age peer class that she might just surprise me and other people. And the thing about school is, they'll do that for her because they have to.
Walter and Ollie...whoa, are they the same old story or what?! Bad to the bone, energy without bounds, mouths that know no tact or decency. But what if they were in an environment where there has been and will be worse than they are? What if they weren't the resident trouble makers? What if they didn't have to spend all day with me! What if they, too, turned out to be more competent than they appear? Oh, how the world loves the child who is studious, quiet, and self-controlled. What if this is how they turned out to be if they were in a setting that valued this and motivated them? Would I be in a close personal relationship with the principal? Or would I find that they were actually children teachers wanted to have in their class?
Right now I think I'm just nervous that I may be losing what I had considered my support network, but it was so clear as I was talking to Kerry tonight that it's not really supporting you if, well, to put it really bluntly, you and your children are disliked. When things like this happen, I tend to jump to the conclusion that if we can't fit one place, we can't fit anywhere (and believe me, we've burned plenty of bridges in our time...who could have prepared me for how being a parent would put me in positions I never dreamed I'd be in!). But I'm doing my best to see this like dating: keep at it, there's probably someone for everyone out there. Dumped once doesn't mean forever alone. I will fill my head with positive thoughts that we can find a niche before resorting to dropping this amazing freedom we have altogether.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Enough oxygen to burn it
Instead of going to bed, tonight we are watching a History Channel show about the Sun. Ollie is amazed at the sheer amount of energy that the Sun puts out--more in a second than has been generated on the entire earth since its very beginning. Before this, we watched a show about Mars. It must be planetary week. Next week begins a new series on the Universe that sounds fascinating. I will need to put it on the calendar or we'll certainly forget it. Our study of chemistry this year probably feels rather relevant right now to the kids, which is just what I hope for what we learn.
Kerry says that he is going to start working with the boys on the upper times tables, which by all counts they should have down by now. They are still skip counting to find answers, which means that they lack automaticity. My goal is 2-3 seconds or less on these facts, and we're just not there yet. I'm not sure what Kerry has in mind--mostly the traditional speed drills that we remember not so fondly from our school days. I ordered Times Tales the other day, a program that is highly recommended by a lot of homeschoolers for learning the last little pocket of facts, the 6-9s, that are often simply hard to recall, and it uses a mnemonic approach with a story. The claim is that they will have mastered these facts within an hour, and I've heard personal testimonial as well as what is on their site and what I've seen elsewhere, so I hope this will be the magic bullet for us. Otherwise, I'm continuing to throw out to them the more unique concepts that are covered in Saxon 3 while I wait for another workbook to arrive, and we are using the speed tests from the first half of the year to review what we've already covered. Meanwhile, we're proceeding with Math U See Gamma on to double digit multiplication, though I'd feel better about this with instant recall of single digit stuff. In the middle of all of this, we are also experimenting with Time4Learning this month. Unfortunately, it lacks some features that would make it even more user-friendly--timers for the older grades (there is no timer after 2nd grade), and most especially something to make assignments so that when they log on they know what they are supposed to do next. Instead, I'm finding I have to be more involved than I want to be. Not that I don't want to be involved in what they are learning, but I had signed on to this with the idea that it might be a painless way to do extra practice and cover concepts that didn't require me to be on top of them like I am with everything else. But overall, I like the scope of what is covered, and I wish that the boys would be a little more enthusiastic.
Who wants to watch math instruction and do problems when there are Webkinz to buy flat screen televisions and air hockey tables for?! Today I found myself a rather irate help desk when the site seemed to be refusing either our password, our user name, our secret code, or some combination of the three. At least 30 minutes was wasted in increasingly frustrated ranting before I discovered that a "G" in the secret code tag had been rubbed off to become a "C," which was wrong. What is immensely irritating about this whole episode is that there is no interactive tech support or a phone number AT ALL for the site. If you can't figure out what is wrong using their FAQs, you're just SOL. I was cursing myself and Ollie for picking out something that requires either batteries or electronics of some kind. Nearly anything that we've ever had that is electronic or battery-driven ends up causing nothing but frustration, and eventually it is missing some piece or hits some glitch we can't get past and then it is tossed aside until it is completely obsolete. I'm so glad that we finally figured out what was going wrong.
Tonight Kerry and I played tennis in an attempt to break me out of my into-the-net rut. My serve was much more on (though I suspect that some of my Thursday morning troubles have to do with needing sunglasses that I can actually see through when I'm on the court), and though I buried a good number of balls into the net, I was a little more consistent in my ground strokes. I continue to have trouble with the "easy" shots--the ones where I have way too much reaction time and a whole clear court in front of me and where I end up blowing the ball too hard way outside the alley. So I'm going to try to breathe through these next time they present myself and not go for some big kill, just work on gently putting the ball away with placement rather than power. And for once, all three kids in child care were complaining that it was time to leave. This is quite good, since I have appointments both for clinic tomorrow morning and then for my match against Hilary on Thursday. I'm not supposed to be this competitive, but I have been a bit disappointed that my partner this week isn't one of our stronger players, which means I feel a higher need to compensate...at a time when I'm feeling like I need someone to compensate for me!
And tomorrow night is the long-awaited play and the rescheduled picnic. I need to go over lines with Passaportout, since it has been a while since he has read through them, and I need to figure out how I'm going to take four kids to Costco to pick up fruit to make my skewer kebabs. And get meat to grill. And I'm going to have to be organized enough to get it all over to Jenn's house without the benefit of Kerry being around. I am so excited to see how it all turns out. Now, if only I could find my camera.
Today we had a pretty good day. Schoolwork out of the way before 9:30, then over to Cheryl's for another meeting about her Homeschool Center idea that she needs to get off the ground by Friday. It was energetic, to say the least. It is an understatement to say that there were lots of kids--close to two dozen. But her project is really coming along, and I hope that enough people will join in to help this become a reality, because we so sorely need adequate and affordable meeting and class space in this area and a central location for homeschoolers to find one another beyond just the internet. After that, I was not very smart and bought us all Slurpees, and for the rest of the day, I could feel the energy of post-Slurpee buzz emanating from Walter. Arrgggh!
This afternoon we went to the pool after our stress-fest with the Webkinz and the all-too-short nap from Rutledge. I'm still not quite ready to get terribly wet there because the water still feels a bit chilly to me, but it didn't stop anyone else except Rutledge. I'm telling you, I tend to make these very unwise parenting decisions when I'm put on the spot, and today was no exception. I allowed Ollie to buy something from the snack bar with his own money, and the next thing I knew, I had three other children sobbing and whining because they had nothing and didn't know they could have brought money. Ooops. That was my big sign to go home, so that's what we did.
Right now I'm going to snuggle up with some of my favorite bedfellows, Ollie and Frances and enjoy the sweetness of a little girl with her head against my arm, snoring.
Kerry says that he is going to start working with the boys on the upper times tables, which by all counts they should have down by now. They are still skip counting to find answers, which means that they lack automaticity. My goal is 2-3 seconds or less on these facts, and we're just not there yet. I'm not sure what Kerry has in mind--mostly the traditional speed drills that we remember not so fondly from our school days. I ordered Times Tales the other day, a program that is highly recommended by a lot of homeschoolers for learning the last little pocket of facts, the 6-9s, that are often simply hard to recall, and it uses a mnemonic approach with a story. The claim is that they will have mastered these facts within an hour, and I've heard personal testimonial as well as what is on their site and what I've seen elsewhere, so I hope this will be the magic bullet for us. Otherwise, I'm continuing to throw out to them the more unique concepts that are covered in Saxon 3 while I wait for another workbook to arrive, and we are using the speed tests from the first half of the year to review what we've already covered. Meanwhile, we're proceeding with Math U See Gamma on to double digit multiplication, though I'd feel better about this with instant recall of single digit stuff. In the middle of all of this, we are also experimenting with Time4Learning this month. Unfortunately, it lacks some features that would make it even more user-friendly--timers for the older grades (there is no timer after 2nd grade), and most especially something to make assignments so that when they log on they know what they are supposed to do next. Instead, I'm finding I have to be more involved than I want to be. Not that I don't want to be involved in what they are learning, but I had signed on to this with the idea that it might be a painless way to do extra practice and cover concepts that didn't require me to be on top of them like I am with everything else. But overall, I like the scope of what is covered, and I wish that the boys would be a little more enthusiastic.
Who wants to watch math instruction and do problems when there are Webkinz to buy flat screen televisions and air hockey tables for?! Today I found myself a rather irate help desk when the site seemed to be refusing either our password, our user name, our secret code, or some combination of the three. At least 30 minutes was wasted in increasingly frustrated ranting before I discovered that a "G" in the secret code tag had been rubbed off to become a "C," which was wrong. What is immensely irritating about this whole episode is that there is no interactive tech support or a phone number AT ALL for the site. If you can't figure out what is wrong using their FAQs, you're just SOL. I was cursing myself and Ollie for picking out something that requires either batteries or electronics of some kind. Nearly anything that we've ever had that is electronic or battery-driven ends up causing nothing but frustration, and eventually it is missing some piece or hits some glitch we can't get past and then it is tossed aside until it is completely obsolete. I'm so glad that we finally figured out what was going wrong.
Tonight Kerry and I played tennis in an attempt to break me out of my into-the-net rut. My serve was much more on (though I suspect that some of my Thursday morning troubles have to do with needing sunglasses that I can actually see through when I'm on the court), and though I buried a good number of balls into the net, I was a little more consistent in my ground strokes. I continue to have trouble with the "easy" shots--the ones where I have way too much reaction time and a whole clear court in front of me and where I end up blowing the ball too hard way outside the alley. So I'm going to try to breathe through these next time they present myself and not go for some big kill, just work on gently putting the ball away with placement rather than power. And for once, all three kids in child care were complaining that it was time to leave. This is quite good, since I have appointments both for clinic tomorrow morning and then for my match against Hilary on Thursday. I'm not supposed to be this competitive, but I have been a bit disappointed that my partner this week isn't one of our stronger players, which means I feel a higher need to compensate...at a time when I'm feeling like I need someone to compensate for me!
And tomorrow night is the long-awaited play and the rescheduled picnic. I need to go over lines with Passaportout, since it has been a while since he has read through them, and I need to figure out how I'm going to take four kids to Costco to pick up fruit to make my skewer kebabs. And get meat to grill. And I'm going to have to be organized enough to get it all over to Jenn's house without the benefit of Kerry being around. I am so excited to see how it all turns out. Now, if only I could find my camera.
Today we had a pretty good day. Schoolwork out of the way before 9:30, then over to Cheryl's for another meeting about her Homeschool Center idea that she needs to get off the ground by Friday. It was energetic, to say the least. It is an understatement to say that there were lots of kids--close to two dozen. But her project is really coming along, and I hope that enough people will join in to help this become a reality, because we so sorely need adequate and affordable meeting and class space in this area and a central location for homeschoolers to find one another beyond just the internet. After that, I was not very smart and bought us all Slurpees, and for the rest of the day, I could feel the energy of post-Slurpee buzz emanating from Walter. Arrgggh!
This afternoon we went to the pool after our stress-fest with the Webkinz and the all-too-short nap from Rutledge. I'm still not quite ready to get terribly wet there because the water still feels a bit chilly to me, but it didn't stop anyone else except Rutledge. I'm telling you, I tend to make these very unwise parenting decisions when I'm put on the spot, and today was no exception. I allowed Ollie to buy something from the snack bar with his own money, and the next thing I knew, I had three other children sobbing and whining because they had nothing and didn't know they could have brought money. Ooops. That was my big sign to go home, so that's what we did.
Right now I'm going to snuggle up with some of my favorite bedfellows, Ollie and Frances and enjoy the sweetness of a little girl with her head against my arm, snoring.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Okay, I'm lost in a technical muddle today. Really. It's a trend, actually. Yesterday I spent probably an hour trying to sort out user names and passwords on two services I use. You know you're having a bad day when you can't even remember your own name.
Today I am deep in thoughts on what my ideal coop for next year would look like. I am reading around and have been trying to gather ideas for myself. As Walter and Ollie get older, I am finding that I am wanting more substance. I love this idea of a cultural studies coop or group--one where you study a particular culture, perhaps in depth for several weeks. I'm wondering if I could incorporate that into my Latin class or Latin work for the boys next fall. There are a number of homeschool "academies" in our area, but they all seem to have a strong Christian component, not that I'm not Christian, but these really have the focus on the religious element more than the academic in many ways, or the academic is purely presented and viewed through the lens of a "Christian worldview." On one level I'm fine with that, but is this my Lutheran-Presbyterian worldview or something else? Add in that often the classes they offer costs hundreds of dollars, sometimes even stretching a bit toward piecemeal private school tuition, and with three children, they just don't make sense. I can't say for sure at this point that I'm looking for a small-scale Westminster Academy, one such homeschool outsourcing school in our area, but I wouldn't rule that quite out, either. What I'm hoping for is creativity and high-engagement, but with a strong substance component.
There seems to be an ongoing question among homeschoolers about whether one can truly do "school" with other families or whether anything that happens outside of your own home can only aspire to enrichment/fun, but not have any impact on what goes on at home. Perhaps it's my severe slacker ways, but I myself believe that meat and substance are, indeed, possible when you cooperate with other parents and their children. At the very least, my children are open to listening and taking direction from other adults in a way that they aren't always willing to do with me They get exposed to topics that I might not have given much thought to. They are motivated by the opportunity to share their work with other people. Knowing that they will be need to present information or explain homework or share what they know or care about provides the kind of meaningful context that can be lacking in a homeschool life at home. Sure, I could assign them a book report or a presentation about electromagnets, but without either the extrinsic motivator of a grade (the old "We write so that we can get a grade from our teacher and because he told us to do it and we'll be in trouble if we don't") or of an actual audience other than me, who is not giving a grade...well, there doesn't feel like there is a point. Communication feels so vitally important to me across the curriculum. Writing, of course, is all about sharing ideas and communicating with an audience. Remove the audience, especially if you yourself are not writing for your own personal gratification (and my boys generally aren't, if truth be told), and there's simply little meaning left in the process. But even something like science or a language is about expressing what you know to someone else. What good is it to translate in isolation? Isn't a primary goal of experiment and discovery to make known and make useful what you have learned?
With those ideas in mind, I am trying to imagine my ideal situation for the fall. And needless to say, my utopian schoolyear is not taking into account a certain fellow who revels in ripping paper, writing on non-consumable materials, and throwing heavy objects at our heads and legs while we are trying to do timed math drills. But details, details. I would like to have all three of my children experience a discussion of literature of some kind. It could be Junior Great Books, which we have been using both in our classes in the past and sporadically at home. It could be novels that they find interesting (though I'm wondering whether a whole group of 8 year olds finds the same books exciting...unfortunately, mine seem to have inherited my own lack of interest in the fantasy/sci fi genre, which nearly obliterates common fascination with other readers). I would also like to have some opportunity to share learning about the social sciences. This is Ollie's particular interest, and he would be rather keen on doing research in any number of topics--US politics, international relations, current conflicts, anything related to history, comparative government, US government... The list goes on. Walter would enjoy some sort of science class or opportunity to present material and do experiments. For Frances, something involving thinking games, critical thinking, exploration of world cultures, and a chance to discuss stories or do writing would be what I'm looking for. She also has not had the benefit of doing many of the simpler science experiments I used to do with the boys, so something concentrating on kitchen chemistry or experiments you can eat or something like that would be fun for her. Or studies of animals and biology.
There's something about coops that is, well, so confusingly uncooperative. Or maybe things just become more difficult than they need to be, or the focus becomes too narrow and constricting. I don't know that it has to be this way. We get kind of stuck in our ruts of how things have been in the past or the paradigm of what we did last year, and it becomes more difficult to imagine other boxes, other alternate schemes. I'm hoping that this Thursday's meeting won't end up being divisive, or worse yet, result in no coop at all...my largest fear. Instead, I hope that we'll be able to come in with fresh ideas and a commitment to working out something that will be in the ballpark of what everyone is looking for.
Today I am deep in thoughts on what my ideal coop for next year would look like. I am reading around and have been trying to gather ideas for myself. As Walter and Ollie get older, I am finding that I am wanting more substance. I love this idea of a cultural studies coop or group--one where you study a particular culture, perhaps in depth for several weeks. I'm wondering if I could incorporate that into my Latin class or Latin work for the boys next fall. There are a number of homeschool "academies" in our area, but they all seem to have a strong Christian component, not that I'm not Christian, but these really have the focus on the religious element more than the academic in many ways, or the academic is purely presented and viewed through the lens of a "Christian worldview." On one level I'm fine with that, but is this my Lutheran-Presbyterian worldview or something else? Add in that often the classes they offer costs hundreds of dollars, sometimes even stretching a bit toward piecemeal private school tuition, and with three children, they just don't make sense. I can't say for sure at this point that I'm looking for a small-scale Westminster Academy, one such homeschool outsourcing school in our area, but I wouldn't rule that quite out, either. What I'm hoping for is creativity and high-engagement, but with a strong substance component.
There seems to be an ongoing question among homeschoolers about whether one can truly do "school" with other families or whether anything that happens outside of your own home can only aspire to enrichment/fun, but not have any impact on what goes on at home. Perhaps it's my severe slacker ways, but I myself believe that meat and substance are, indeed, possible when you cooperate with other parents and their children. At the very least, my children are open to listening and taking direction from other adults in a way that they aren't always willing to do with me They get exposed to topics that I might not have given much thought to. They are motivated by the opportunity to share their work with other people. Knowing that they will be need to present information or explain homework or share what they know or care about provides the kind of meaningful context that can be lacking in a homeschool life at home. Sure, I could assign them a book report or a presentation about electromagnets, but without either the extrinsic motivator of a grade (the old "We write so that we can get a grade from our teacher and because he told us to do it and we'll be in trouble if we don't") or of an actual audience other than me, who is not giving a grade...well, there doesn't feel like there is a point. Communication feels so vitally important to me across the curriculum. Writing, of course, is all about sharing ideas and communicating with an audience. Remove the audience, especially if you yourself are not writing for your own personal gratification (and my boys generally aren't, if truth be told), and there's simply little meaning left in the process. But even something like science or a language is about expressing what you know to someone else. What good is it to translate in isolation? Isn't a primary goal of experiment and discovery to make known and make useful what you have learned?
With those ideas in mind, I am trying to imagine my ideal situation for the fall. And needless to say, my utopian schoolyear is not taking into account a certain fellow who revels in ripping paper, writing on non-consumable materials, and throwing heavy objects at our heads and legs while we are trying to do timed math drills. But details, details. I would like to have all three of my children experience a discussion of literature of some kind. It could be Junior Great Books, which we have been using both in our classes in the past and sporadically at home. It could be novels that they find interesting (though I'm wondering whether a whole group of 8 year olds finds the same books exciting...unfortunately, mine seem to have inherited my own lack of interest in the fantasy/sci fi genre, which nearly obliterates common fascination with other readers). I would also like to have some opportunity to share learning about the social sciences. This is Ollie's particular interest, and he would be rather keen on doing research in any number of topics--US politics, international relations, current conflicts, anything related to history, comparative government, US government... The list goes on. Walter would enjoy some sort of science class or opportunity to present material and do experiments. For Frances, something involving thinking games, critical thinking, exploration of world cultures, and a chance to discuss stories or do writing would be what I'm looking for. She also has not had the benefit of doing many of the simpler science experiments I used to do with the boys, so something concentrating on kitchen chemistry or experiments you can eat or something like that would be fun for her. Or studies of animals and biology.
There's something about coops that is, well, so confusingly uncooperative. Or maybe things just become more difficult than they need to be, or the focus becomes too narrow and constricting. I don't know that it has to be this way. We get kind of stuck in our ruts of how things have been in the past or the paradigm of what we did last year, and it becomes more difficult to imagine other boxes, other alternate schemes. I'm hoping that this Thursday's meeting won't end up being divisive, or worse yet, result in no coop at all...my largest fear. Instead, I hope that we'll be able to come in with fresh ideas and a commitment to working out something that will be in the ballpark of what everyone is looking for.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
