You Might Be a Redneck

Crass as they are, variations on this theme are some of my favorite little jokes. As anyone who knows me knows, it doesn't actually take much to set me off laughing about something that is amusing to no one else who is older than a third grader. But anyway, tonight you could say I might have had too much to drink when :

* I've poured a whiskey sour into one of my best friend's shoes
* I try to log onto my blog to post and I keep typing in sss.blogger.com and aaa.blogger.com
* I repeat (and type the word "prepeat") the same phrase over and over for effect while I'm trying to convince my sleeping husband that I'm not a lightweight and I can handle my alcohol

So there you are. Make your own decisions, readers. Whoever you are.

I just bot gack (got back) from a pontoon boat cruise with a group of homeschooling friends. We actually didn't talk shop all that much. A few anecdotes here and there, but none of this talk about the new homeschool center that is going to be opening or about plans for next years or about the dreaded C topic or educational clubs or what have you. It was old boat stories, food, talk about dreams, and chat about local restaurants. What a lovely change of pace from nothing but shop talk. I live shop. I love shop. But I don't always have to talk shop. It was a gorgeous night, beyond what one could order from a catalog, if such a thing were possible. Clear skies full of stars, falling ones, even. Ripply water with hopping fish. Other pontoons with swimmers leaping joyously (and drunkily?) off their decks. Children swinging off ropes into the water from their shoreside yards. A popular neighborhood nightspot with a full deck of weekend folks relaxing. A wedding reception going on up the hill. Simply lovely.


Today I took all four children to Busch Gardens by myself. This was a first. It went okay. It was a learning experience for all of us, one where I had to lay down the law on a few lessons. You can't be throwing things or licking your siblings while I am driving on I-64. I will pull over onto the shoulder and talk to you. You can't throw straws out the window or I will pull you out of gymnastics and ballet faster than a speeding cylinder of plastic on I-95. Don't even wander off in a big crowded theme park where your mother can't see you. But overall, we had a lovely day. My plan was to use today to see all of those shows that we never manage to catch when we are running amok and slamming in as many rides in 6 hours as we can. It sort of worked. We saw a very energetic 4-D pirate show with Leslie Nielson, a high on the special effects (how did this guy change costumes so magically quickly?) one-man show about a castle on Ireland, and most of a children's song and dance show. But the fact is, we rode a lot of rides. Not our usual ones. Well, okay, the boys did go on the Loch Ness Monster twice. Frances and Rutledge rode the mini clydesdales ride and walked through the stables and petted and had their picture taken with McGhee (Wednesday when we went, it was with Marty). They all rode all of the rides in Land of the Dragons, which is the little children's area. The water jets were on, although Rutledge was a bit too cautious. They climbed in the treehouse and rode all of the tiny rides. My favorite lines from Rutledge today: "I want to ride dem bopes." "I want to ride dem bugs." And my ultimate favorite line these days, although I am tired of saying no and witnessing the resulting tantrum: "No, my Toke!" (No, my Coke!) We had a very nutritious lunch of 7-11 hot dogs and slurpees (I dropped my Toke all over the ground, and I promise I had not had any alcohol at 11 a.m.!). And I spent too much on Jelly Bellys and big lollipops and frozen lemonade. On the whole, today was a pretty good day out that was neither too long nor too short. My only complaint was that I took a wrong turn getting home because I was zoned out talking to Hilary on my phone, and the next thing I knew I was in Colonial Heights, then Petersburg, then at Fort Lee. I've never been down there before, don't foresee a lot of going down there again any time soon, and it ended up taking me about 45 minutes longer to get home than it should have. Anyone who knows me know that these driving zone-outs happen all too often to me. I hope we'll find a time to get back to Busch Gardens next week, even if i do need to figure out how to spend less on food. I'll get a system down one of these days. Probably a day or so before our season pass expires.

This is old news, but yesterday I played the tennis game of my life. It may not have been the best I ever played (and I lost), but it was my best match ever. Close, close, close. I lost the first set 6-4, won the second 3-6, and then lost in the tie-breaker 12-10. But the points were amazing, my opponent and I had a lot of fun, and we rallied and rallied and got in some incredible shots. My placement was on, my serve was mostly on, and my consistency was such as it has never been before. I had a lot of spectators, primarily because the match was just so darn long--about 45 minutes past the time when everyone else on my team was finished. Hilary showed up after her away match. I wish I could have wrapped things up a little better, but I was so pleased with how this went and, well, just had a ton of fun. This was my second time playing #1 singles, and I am so eager to play more singles now that I've had this experience. I think I'm going to meet a friend to play tomorrow morning, just for more practice. Our final match of the USTA season is next week, but then I'll be starting a 3.0/3.5 combo league on Saturdays when this ends. Just when I'm ready to throw in the towel on something, it seems to turn itself right around and become infused with a new energy, so maybe I just will consider that tennis racket tattoo I joke about.

Here's a question in the air these days. Should you continue to school during the summer? Well, I guess that depends on what you call schooling. Though I still aspire, in some ways, to be completely child-led, in which summer, winter, fall, you name it, we'd just be living life, the fact is that right now, in order to feel okay about whether we are at least sort of on track with our perceived grade level. So for now, I'm trying to hit at least four days a week with math, handwriting (we're now on to copywork, where I'm having them copy short poems on lined paper, using correct form for letters), spelling, and grammar. Everyone hates grammar, and I have this feeling that though the work isn't hard, if they found themselves asked questions about subjects and predicates in six months that they would be glaring blankly at a test booklet. Though I will say, I was rather pleased to hear Walter declare that "diagramming sentences is fun." I love those compound subjects and their triangulating lines, too.

What I'm reading right now: The endless Harry Potter 5 (did I mention that Rutledge unwound and/or ripped 13 cassettes the other day?). The Memory Keeper's Daughter. Writer Mama. And some magazines. Ollie and I have been reading about World War II, the Holocaust, and the causes of the Vietnam War. And the perennial scary stories. We are finding that the back porch is now our favorite place to be. Yes, it smells like dog on a bad day, but usually it is a welcome respite from the cold temperatures of inside the house and is a haven set apart from the noise of indoors. I feel like we are finally bonding with this area that was the original selling point of our house. If only we could reclaim it from the animals and decorate it more comfortably, I think it really would be our favorite room.