True confessions

The very bad thing that it has been possible would happen has actually happened today. Well, it sort of happened today...it hasn't happened yet, but the opportunity is there, and it could happen at some point in the near future. And then we don't know what would happen. I can't really be more specific than that in this particular venue at this moment, but let's just say it has us second guessing whether today was the day to start a second cell phone contract and now be paying for two. I am going to not think too much about it, lest I completely start flipping out. Besides, we've lived through this type of thing before and survived all the better for it.

Now on to the daily confession (how I wish I could go a day without one). Hilary, next time I tell you I need someone to come with me to Short Pump, you're coming. I don't care what else is going on that day! Shhhh...I actually left a crying child in the parking lot and didn't even realize it! Thank goodness the abandoned child was my own, since I had a spare with me today. The only word I could think of for the behavior in Frances that facilitated my negligence was 'unacceptable.' Frances has a history of melting down and stopping walking, or even worse, finding a hiding spot while the rest of the family just keeps walking. We had a notorious incident at Disney MGM Studios, where I was happily snapping a picture of children on a Star Wars spacecraft when I suddenly noticed that one of my dear ones was no longer with us. But back to today. The rest of us were parading through Nordstrom with Ollie having this very loud conversation about allergies. He kept saying in a really loud voice over and over, "Walter is allergic to Chick Fil-A, because he throws up every time we go there, but I'm allergic to Arby's. It makes my stomach hurt and makes me very gassy!" Then suddenly he asked, "Where is Frances?" At which point I began a full-fledged panic, abandoning now not just one, but almost all of my children and one of Rebecca's and rushing back out into the parking lot, screaming like a banshee. And sure enough, there was Frances, crouched down next to the car, sobbing her little eyes out. If I wasn't just so damn glad she was safe, I could have throttled her. And thank goodness some kind later middle-aged woman and her daughter were there keeping an eye on my other little guys and were very understanding and kind (though I think they thought I was very pathetic). They commended my bravery for 'bringing so many children shopping.' I was ready to screech, "I'm not taking anyone shopping! My computer is broken and I cannot live without it! I'm only here to drop it off in the shop!"

And that sad story is the reason I was out there in the first place. This morning I woke to the white screen of death on the iMac. A machine that has disappointed me not this once, but twice in a major way. I did nothing wrong, I swear. I even used a desk and wasn't snuggled up in bed with it like I normally am. So it was off to the Apple store for an 11:55 appointment. At least I can say that the "geniuses" there are very efficient, and I arrived with no time to spare to find my name up next on the screen on the wall. Rutledge, overdue for a nap, needed more supervision than he was willing to accept, so I forced him to stand on a stool next to me while I covered him in kisses, all the while thinking, some poor infertile woman is probably watching this whole PDA thing I have going with my boy and wishing she could come over and stab me through the eyeballs. Yes, I still have these thoughts. But realistically, I think the the place was mostly filled with well-dressed Short Pump Wyndham (wink, wink) types and their sorry, broken computers. They were probably too busy like I was, mourning the prospect of days cut off from their link to the known world, to notice there were other human beings around.

That early part of the day did sort of make it hit home why I probably have no business with 5 kids. Let me just give you two words to explain how I lost my sanity for good: McDonald's Drive-Thru. So many voices. So many things I got wrong ("I said I wanted apple slices and these are french fries!" "Where's the ketchup? I can't eat these without ketchup!" "No, the Sprite is mine!" Slurp, slurp through a lid without a straw.). It was a lesson in tough love for all. And at that point, there seemed no other path that made sense but to take Olivia along to the meeting I was supposed to be at by 1:15. It's always helpful to ask a four year old, "Do you think your Mommy has any other plans today?" I do think, though, that bringing a companion for Frances was a smart idea; it made for an easier time in general for me, though Rutledge was his usual tough-guy self. He and Adam (did I mention there were 13 kids there today!) had one scuffle after another over a lawnmower, and Rutledge was more than ready to rip out a handful of hair if necessary to get his fair turn. So the meeting portion of the, um, meeting was rather short, and I had to leave almost as soon as it started. We barely got through the "where are we now" portion before we were rushing to determine a meeting schedule for the next 6 months. I hope I wasn't foolish when I said, "I don't mind leading lots of meetings at all." And in a sense, I really don't. It frightens me a little to be so committed so many times in such uncertain winter months, but I have no problem winging it with little or no topic. I'm just so glad to not be a lone Leader right now that I'm willing to adapt to just about anything.

Upward, onward to chemistry again tomorrow. I've been trying to clean up so that I can actually allow other people to darken my door in the morning. We are going hardcore on our No Food Outside the Kitchen rule. Today was completely out of hand. There were Cheerios absolutely everywhere, corn chips smushed into the rug, candy wrappers (thank goodness that's over now) under the furniture. And that's on top of the yogurt that sprayed all over the floor around the table, the corn chips mixed in over there, and the Math U See blocks that are scattered around the room. I swear I will not survive this toddlerhood. I also have a new scheme in the playroom and "dining" room. Admittedly I did dump a pile of sundry items into wooden crates and just stack them on a table, but the result is at least a more tidy appearance.

This morning was our first day with our new spelling book, and Ollie let me know in no uncertain terms that these lists insulted his intelligence. "These are baby words!" he exclaimed. So I went ahead and let them start on Week 4. Baby words though they might be, I've seen some interesting choices of ways to spell things, so I don't mind a little insult. They also both completed their math pages, even Ollie!, without complaint and without terribly much direction. O. may protest that he doesn't understand anything, but that's not what I'm seeing. And I managed to cover most of our chemistry review in a very natural way as a conversation arose in the car today about how a mechanic knows about what makes a car move. It was an easy avenue into talking about reactions, chemicals, how to observe when molecules or compounds have reacted, and whether all reactions are spontaneous or not. It was so much nicer than my attempts to re-cover that material with the book while they were splashing in the echoey bathtub tonight.

The final big news for tonight is that Walter finally lost his two front teeth. They were wobbling on his gums, barely hanging on, and grossing everyone out. He was asking for help with them this morning, but then decided he was not ready yet. So Kerry played dentist this evening and the deed is done. The blood was profuse. The clotty gap is nasty. The Supertooth is crooked. The orthodontist is waiting for our check. And the tooth fairy should be generous tonight.